Being A Stay At Home Parent Can Be Hazardous To Your Emotional Health: 6 Important Strategies To Remember

Being A Stay At Home Parent Can Be Hazardous To Your Emotional Health: 6 Important Strategies To Remember

Years ago as a medical resident, I saw a patient in the office for a routine follow-up visit. We reviewed her concerns and it appeared that all was well. Just as I was about to close the visit, the patient broke down into tears. I was puzzled. I looked at her and asked why she was crying. She went on to explain to me that she had been feeling depressed. She had been a stay home mother and now in her late 40s her kids had grown up and left home. She was unsure of how to re-define herself now that children were no longer her main responsibility. 

According to a Gallup poll, stay at home moms are more likely to express sadness, anger, and depression. There are many possible reasons for this, which include relative isolation, lack of earned income, and lack of recognition. The toll on low-income mothers seems even greater in comparison to their employed counterparts. 

I recently approached my wife (whose background is in aerospace engineering) and asked her about her own choice to be a stay at home mother for our children. I love her tremendously and I’m grateful for all she does, however given my experience and available data I had my concerns. She explained to me her strategies for staying balanced. 

1. EXERCISE
   Exercise allows the release of endorphins, which are feel good chemicals in the body. Also during exercise there may be opportunity for socialization with other adults. “Exercise is my antidepressant!" she told me. 
   
   
2. STAYING BUSY WITH SCHOOL ACTIVITIES
   “Staying active within the kid’s classrooms has given me a sense of purpose,” she said. My wife volunteers in the classrooms, chaperones during field trips, and enjoys taking on leadership roles. She has served on the school's nonprofit foundation and the school board as well. In doing so, she is able to do something that is tremendously important for the development of the children... something that working mothers may not have the time to do.
   
   
3. STAYING CONNECTED TO A NETWORK OF FRIENDS
   Isolation is one of the key issues that facilitate depression for stay at home mothers. My wife has been excellent at forming a network of friends who help support each other. I can see it brings her joy to build these relationships and help her friends; in turn they offer her support.  Socialization with other adults, and if possible occasionally without the children, can increase one's feeling of connectedness.  Though this luxury may not come often for a stay at home parent, it is an important factor for combatting isolation.  
   
   
4. STRESS REDUCTION
   My wife also credits her daily meditation practice for maintaining a more positive outlook on life, and avoiding burnout as a stay at home mom. Stress reduction techniques such as breathing exercises and meditation can be beneficial to both stay at home parents and the children, making a more peaceful home environment for all.
   
   
5. FOCUS ON HEALTHY NUTRITION
   A common saying is, “you are what you eat.” To stay healthy, one must focus on good nutrition, which benefits everyone in the family.  My wife and I have come a long way since our dating days in this respect. We often joke about eating things like, Velveeta shells and cheese, Hawaiian fruit punch, and entire takeout pizzas.... each.  Healthy eating is linked to improved emotional well being and has become a way of life for us now. 
   
   
6. ASK FOR HELP
   Whether it’s hiring a sitter for an occasional date night or finding housekeeping help, sometimes it’s necessary to reach out to others for support. It can be overwhelming to be alone at home with the kids and even just a few hours reprieve can make a huge difference. 

Available evidence suggests that being a stay at home parent can take a toll emotionally. The decision to stay at home is a very personal one and many individual factors must be considered. For those who decide to stay at home to raise children, it’s important to remember these key strategies for remaining healthy and happy.